Sure you have to kill krill and other shellfish all the live-long day.
But are you making the best use of your time in the most humane way possible?
If not here’s a new product just for you!
With 110 Volts and 2 to 5 amps depending on the animal (that’s 550 Watts of power people! Quick additional math leads us to this fact, That’s .73 horsepower of death! Ahahahahhaha!!!!!)
Ok, so maybe I’m getting a bit carried away.
Stop screaming, would you rather we just boil them alive as we’ve done for thousands of years?! What kind of heartless soul are you?!
Are you the kind of person that prefers straight butter, or do you prefer a sweet salted butter with garlic? These are very important questions, and only the use of the Crustastun can you answer them!
In New Zealand there are actual rules that animals are to be killed humanely for consumption, and these are linked to right there on the manufacturer’s site (apologies to you vegans who regard shellfish as higher beings).
There are actual benefits of this little death machine (in terms of savory-ness and deliciousnesses, and the science
to back it up!) Apparently by reducing the stress of the animal at death it “decreases osmotic dilution” which to me sounds like, the meat stays firm and wonderful!
Alas you can probably tell I’m a big proponent of shellfish consumption, or,, in the words of a Rabbi I once heard, “If God didn’t want us to eat them, he wouldn’t have made them taste so good”.
I really hate to bring religion into it, but folks, how do you argue with such tasty
facts? (Does this mean tomorrow I have to find an article on a savory way to treat bacon?!)
Overall, it does seem that the folks at Crustastun have developed a product that does what it says. Shocking in this day and age no?
I don’t think I’ll be soliciting the company directly to test this device, however if anyone wishes to send me live Maine Lobster, please feel free!!!
P.S. I checked, no youtube for this kiddies!