The butler alarm clock

Voco Clock

If you’ve ever had pretentious fantasies of your very own butler waking you up each morning your dreams are about to be realised without the need of a billionaire bank balance. The Voco clock may look like a regular clock for the mantle piece, but it’s actually a speaking alarm with the annoying posh voice of Stephen Fry.

When it’s time to awaken from your slumber you can get your butt kissed by Mr Fry saying things like:

“I’m so sorry to disturb you but it appears to be morning. Very inconvenient, I agree . . . I believe it is the rotation of the earth that is to blame.”

I’m delighted you have survived another night. May I add my own congratulations to the roar of the world’s approval? Thank you, Sir.

I’m afraid the staff has absconded, sir. And it is my day off. I trust it will not be too onerous to make you own exquisitely sliced toast and and perfectly cooked breakfast?

There are 50 different brown nose flattering quips to wake up to and then there is a beeping that continues until you turn it off. At which the Jeeves character says one of a dozen things, along the lines of: “Sir has a firm touch but very fair.”

You can get the Voco clock for £25.95 (~$52 with the current crazy exchange rate) and add a bit of snobbery to your day.