Steve Jobs explains his health, invents new diet plan

With rumors running rampant about Steve Jobs’ health over the last few months, including that he was either dead or at death’s door, and with the announcement that he was not going to be giving Apple’s last keynote address at MacWorld, the Cupertino Guru decided it was time to quell the scuttlebutt and explain his health condition which prompted his recent rapid weight loss. According to Jobs, a strange hormonal imbalance has cause his Holocaust survivor like appearance and his decision to pull out of the MacWorld keynote was more to spend the holidays with his family rather than preparing for the last great Apple Keynote (you may remember Apple announcing they will not longer participate in MacWorld Expo after 2009). Anyone buying it? I mean, seriously.

If unbalancing your hormones would be the key to losing weight, we would’ve heard about it as the great miracle diet in Hollywood by now. The magic pill that would put your hormones out of whack and drop that hard to lose last ten pounds. Then, one would merely have to take another magic pill to right the ship, as it were. No, the key is in the second reason why he’s not giving the keynote – he’s spending time with his family. All of a sudden. At this stage with his rapid weight loss the news he’s been battling cancer. Sorry, but how could this be anything else except an attempt to buttress Wall Street against another ground pounding on Apple Stock once the worst is realized? Remember last year’s rumor that caused the stock to tank?

We certainly hope this isn’t the case, and that it’s idle speculation which is fueling the story. And certainly Steve Jobs has a right to keep his health condition private, sort of, he does have a feduciary responsibility to Apple Stockholders. Bet let’s apply Akham’s Razor here and look at the simplest possible explanation. His health isn’t the best. And with the perception that Steve Jobs IS Apple (or M’Apple as the case may be) doesn’t it make more sense that Apple is merely trying to cover up the Jobs story and is unable to merely come out with his heir apparent(s) and say here’s the new face(s) of Apple? One thing is for certain, 2009 will be filled with rumors about Jobs’ health if his treatment to counter this hormone imbalance doesn’t work.

Hat Tip – Engadget

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