Electric Skates doesn’t require you to be a Dutchman

I know that the Dutch have crashed out of Euro 2012 just a couple of days ago, once again a team of extremely talented players undermined by alleged infighting and an overall lack of unity. Well, you need not be a rolling Dutchman to enjoy this pair of $699.95 Electric Skates, as I am quite sure that Hammacher is more than willing to send a pair of these puppies over to your doorstep as long as you have the money to pay for it.
The Electric Skates are pretty self-describing – they are basically motorized electric roller skates which are able to propel a wearer at a top speed of up to 8 mph. Of course, there are other laws of physics to be considered as well, such as the wearer being no more heavier than 180 lbs. All you need to do is strap the skates on over your shoes, ensure the dual fasteners are securely and sufficiently tightened, and let the 80-watt motor on each skate get to work. The smooth-rolling 6″ rubber tires should provide sufficient grip across most surfaces (ice not included), while there is a handheld wireless remote control that adjusts the speed of this skates. It takes around five hours to juice up each pair of skates, and removable training wheels are thrown into the mix for beginners.