Absurd: The Giant Swiss Army Knife

Even the Swiss are going crazy! Usually, a swiss army knife can be described by one short phrase: minimalistic and practical.

This means that you get a bunch of useful functions out of a small and simple to use device. Well, now, the ‘small’ part seems to be totally out. How about 9 whole inches of width?

Of course, there’s an awful lot of functions in there (85 fully functional implements), but none of the tools is now practical, simply due to the ginormous size of this. This really deserves to be categorized as a ‘Wacky Gadget’.

Click on for an extensive list of features. Hell, there’s even a tire pressure gauge in there!

1. 2.5″ 60% Serrated locking blade
2. Nail file, nail cleaner
3. Corkscrew
4. Adjustable pliers with wire crimper and cutter
5. Removable screwdriver bit adapter
6. 2.5″ Blade for Official World Scout Knife
7. Spring-loaded, locking needle-nose pliers with wire cutter
8. Removable screwdriver bit holder
9. Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
10. Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
11. Phillips head screwdriver bit 2Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5mm x 3.5mm
12. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6mm x 4.0mm
13. Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0mm x 6.5mm
14. Magnetized recessed bit holder
15. Double-cut wood saw with ruler (inch & cm)
16. Bike chain rivet setter, removable 5mm allen wrench, screwdriver for slotted and philips head screws
17. Removable tool for adjusting bike spokes, 10mm hexagonal key for nuts
18. Removable 4mm curved allen wrench with philips head screwdriver
19. Removable 10mm hexagonal key
20. Patented locking philips head screwdriverUniversal wrench
21. 2.4″ Springless scissors with serrated, self-sharpening design
22. 1.65″ Clip point utility blade
23. Philips head screwdriver
24. 2.5″ Clip point blade
25. Golf club face cleaner
26. 2.4″ Round tip blade
27. Patented locking screwdriver, cap lifter, can opener
28. Golf shoe spike wrench
29. Golf divot repair tool
30. 4mm allen wrench2.5″ blade
31. Fine metal file with precision screwdriver
32. Double-cut wood saw
33. Cupped cigar cutter with double-honed edges
34. 12/20-Guage choke tube tool
35. Watch caseback opening tool
36. Snap shackle
37. Mineral crystal magnifier with precision screwdriver
38. Compass, straight edge, ruler (in./cm)
39. Telescopic pointerFish scaler, hook disgorger, line guide
40. Shortix laboratory key
41. Micro tool holder
42. Micro tool adapter
43. Micro scraper – straight
44. Micro scraper – curved
45. Laser pointer with 300 ft. range
46. Metal saw, metal file
47. Flashlight
48. Micro tool holderPhilips head screwdriver 1.5mm
49. Screwdriver 1.2mm
50. Screwdriver .8mm
51. Fine fork for watch spring bars
52. Reamer
53. Pin punch 1.2mm
54. Pin punch .8mm
55. Round needle file
56. Removable tool holder with expandable receptacle
57. Removable tool holder
58. Special self-centering screwdriver for gunsights
59. Flat philips head screwdriver
60. Chisel-point reamerMineral crystal magnifier, fork for watch spring bars, small ruler
61. Extension tool
62. Spring-loaded, locking flat nose-nose pliers with wire cutter
63. Removable screwdriver bit holder
64. Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
65. Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
66. Phillips head screwdriver bit 2
67. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5mm x 3.5mm
68. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6mm x 4.0mm
69. Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0mm x 6.5mm
70. Magnetized recessed bit holder
71. Tire tread gauge
72. Fiber optic tool holderCan opener
73. Patented locking screwdriver, cap lifter, wire stripper
74. Reamer/awl
75. Toothpick
76. Tweezers
77. Key ring

Though this list is huge, cramming so many tools in a swiss army knife is overdone to say the least. I really hope it’s not designed to be a practical tool, but just a collectible or something to brag about.

The price isn’t small, as well: it retails for £499,99 (yup, one thousand bucks) at FireBox. Found via GeekAlerts.