Absurd: The Giant Swiss Army Knife

gigantic swiss army knife!

Even the Swiss are going crazy! Usually, a swiss army knife can be described by one short phrase: minimalistic and practical.

This means that you get a bunch of useful functions out of a small and simple to use device. Well, now, the ‘small’ part seems to be totally out. How about 9 whole inches of width?

Of course, there’s an awful lot of functions in there (85 fully functional implements), but none of the tools is now practical, simply due to the ginormous size of this. This really deserves to be categorized as a ‘Wacky Gadget’.

Click on for an extensive list of features. Hell, there’s even a tire pressure gauge in there!

  1. 2.5″ 60% Serrated locking blade
  2. Nail file, nail cleaner
  3. Corkscrew
  4. Adjustable pliers with wire crimper and cutter
  5. Removable screwdriver bit adapter
  6. 2.5″ Blade for Official World Scout Knife
  7. Spring-loaded, locking needle-nose pliers with wire cutter
  8. Removable screwdriver bit holder
  9. Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
  10. Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
  11. Phillips head screwdriver bit 2Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5mm x 3.5mm
  12. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6mm x 4.0mm
  13. Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0mm x 6.5mm
  14. Magnetized recessed bit holder
  15. Double-cut wood saw with ruler (inch & cm)
  16. Bike chain rivet setter, removable 5mm allen wrench, screwdriver for slotted and philips head screws
  17. Removable tool for adjusting bike spokes, 10mm hexagonal key for nuts
  18. Removable 4mm curved allen wrench with philips head screwdriver
  19. Removable 10mm hexagonal key
  20. Patented locking philips head screwdriverUniversal wrench
  21. 2.4″ Springless scissors with serrated, self-sharpening design
  22. 1.65″ Clip point utility blade
  23. Philips head screwdriver
  24. 2.5″ Clip point blade
  25. Golf club face cleaner
  26. 2.4″ Round tip blade
  27. Patented locking screwdriver, cap lifter, can opener
  28. Golf shoe spike wrench
  29. Golf divot repair tool
  30. 4mm allen wrench2.5″ blade
  31. Fine metal file with precision screwdriver
  32. Double-cut wood saw
  33. Cupped cigar cutter with double-honed edges
  34. 12/20-Guage choke tube tool
  35. Watch caseback opening tool
  36. Snap shackle
  37. Mineral crystal magnifier with precision screwdriver
  38. Compass, straight edge, ruler (in./cm)
  39. Telescopic pointerFish scaler, hook disgorger, line guide
  40. Shortix laboratory key
  41. Micro tool holder
  42. Micro tool adapter
  43. Micro scraper – straight
  44. Micro scraper – curved
  45. Laser pointer with 300 ft. range
  46. Metal saw, metal file
  47. Flashlight
  48. Micro tool holderPhilips head screwdriver 1.5mm
  49. Screwdriver 1.2mm
  50. Screwdriver .8mm
  51. Fine fork for watch spring bars
  52. Reamer
  53. Pin punch 1.2mm
  54. Pin punch .8mm
  55. Round needle file
  56. Removable tool holder with expandable receptacle
  57. Removable tool holder
  58. Special self-centering screwdriver for gunsights
  59. Flat philips head screwdriver
  60. Chisel-point reamerMineral crystal magnifier, fork for watch spring bars, small ruler
  61. Extension tool
  62. Spring-loaded, locking flat nose-nose pliers with wire cutter
  63. Removable screwdriver bit holder
  64. Phillips head screwdriver bit 0
  65. Phillips head screwdriver bit 1
  66. Phillips head screwdriver bit 2
  67. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.5mm x 3.5mm
  68. Flat head screwdriver bit 0.6mm x 4.0mm
  69. Flat head screwdriver bit 1.0mm x 6.5mm
  70. Magnetized recessed bit holder
  71. Tire tread gauge
  72. Fiber optic tool holderCan opener
  73. Patented locking screwdriver, cap lifter, wire stripper
  74. Reamer/awl
  75. Toothpick
  76. Tweezers
  77. Key ring

Though this list is huge, cramming so many tools in a swiss army knife is overdone to say the least. I really hope it’s not designed to be a practical tool, but just a collectible or something to brag about.

The price isn’t small, as well: it retails for £499,99 (yup, one thousand bucks) at FireBox. Found via GeekAlerts.

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