8 ways to kill someone with an iPod nano

Steve Jobs with an iPod

An ex-marine has written what we hope you’ll agree is a tongue in cheek article on 8 different ways to kill someone with an iPod

I never realised an iPod could be such a lethal weapon…..

1) Break into pieces and use the edge of the glass screen to cut a person’s throat.

2) Remove a sock, put the Nano inside it and whack your victim on the temple with it.

3) Use it to reflect sunlight into a drivers eyes blinding them and causing a deadly accident.

4) Use the headphone cord to choke them.

5) Dig a pit and leave sharp, wooden stakes to build a letahal trap. Cover and camouflage the trap, and leave the iPod on top as bait.

6) Use the lithium-ion battery pack to poison a person’s food or drink

7) Download a cheesy Carpenter’s song (“We’ve Only Just begun” is recommended by the merciless ex-marine) and tell your victim you will give him or her the iPod if they can listen to the song 100 times.

8) Hide the Nano in a bowl of Lutefisk and take it to the annual Norsefest Lutefisk Eating Competition in Madison, Minnesota. (Most European readers won’t get this one for sure!)

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