Are you suffering from sore and stiff muscles after a particularly hard day of physical labor? Well, if your wife isn’t that much of a masseuse, why not settle for this Cordless Heat Therapy Shoulder Wrap instead?

This cordless, heated shoulder wrap provides up to six hours of deep-penetrating heat therapy to relieve sore, stiff muscles and joints without requiring proximity to an AC outlet. Unlike other wraps that quickly lose their heat, this one is powered by a slim, long-lasting lithium-ion rechargeable battery that ensures consistent heat therapy. The flexible, thin wrap can be worn under clothing, and it conforms to the body without inhibiting movement; the Velcro® fasteners ensure it remains in place. Virtually undetectable carbon fiber heating elements adjust from 108° F to 130° F at the touch of a button on the battery pack. Lasts up to 2 1/2 hours on the highest setting. Recharges via AC in four hours.

You can now get some instant relief for $129.95, and best of all is, there is no need to hold a conversation with the device, allowing you to drift asleep in a peaceful manner.

Looks a whole lot like Boba Fett to me at first glance, this Remote Controlled Hovering Space Surfer.

This is the remote controlled 9″ space surfer that hovers in the air, spins 360, and moves left, right, forward, and backward - all while levitating parallel to the ground. Capable of indoor or outdoor flights, the space surfer has dual propellers that generate enough thrust to send the device from a stationary position to 66-feet in the air without requiring a hand-launch. The radio frequency remote control has proportional throttle and trim settings that allow it to be precisely controlled through climbs, descents, and turns. Made from durable EPP foam, the aircraft’s body withstands turbulent flights and crash landings. Pre-assembled and ready to fly, the device is powered by a rechargeable battery that recharges via the included AC adapter.

The Remote Controlled Hovering Space Surfer will come with a 27 foot range remote and is powered by a 9-volt battery. The theory of diminishing returns applies here - it takes 70 minutes to charge, and yet offers just a quarter of an hour’s worth of R&R time. You can pick it up for $89.95.

Add a touch of ghastliness to your yard this coming Halloween with the Illuminated Skeleton Graveyard.

This is the graveyard composed of 26 plastic illuminated upper arm bones and skeletal hands that form a three-sided fence that surrounds three foam tombstones textured and painted to look like granite. The fence can enclose a 4′ x 4′ area in your yard. Two rubber rats with feral red eyes that glow with a hint of diabolical sentience lurk beside the upper torso of a skeleton that appears to be pulling itself out of the ground–the chest cavity still houses a beating heart that pulses from bright red to deep crimson as it lights, then dims. A single skull with two blinking eye sockets accompanies the other remains. The bones, heart, and skull each house mini-lights rated for 1,000 hours of use; rats use C7 candelabra type bulbs. Plugs into AC. Fence bones have stakes for securing them into the ground.

Might scare very little children away, but for the rest of the general populace, this $99.95 device probably would elicit more curious looks than hair raising episodes.

If you don’t like kids to mess up your lawn, why not get the Talking Wicked Witch Of The West? This nasty piece of work will definitely scare those who lack the necessary intestinal fortitude away from your home, although with the amount of horror media saturating our kids’ minds these days, they might end up loving the Talking Wicked Witch Of The West.

This is the 5′ 2″ tall statue of the infamous Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz that repeats the classic phrase “I’ll get you, my pretty… and your little dog, too!” spoken by Margaret Hamilton from the original 1939 film’s soundtrack when unsuspecting visitors activate its sound and vibration detection sensor. Suggestive of all the iconic character’s powers of enchantment, the witch stands menacingly with outstretched green clawed hands, and issues her warning - the leitmotif “Almira Gulch’s/Witch’s Theme” followed by Hamilton’s own voice - from a built-in speaker. Made from polyresin and painted in high-gloss lacquer for a look that resembles the finest porcelain, the statue’s facial features replicate the same striking details from Hamilton’s character, including the green skin, pronounced nose, gnashed teeth, wavy black hair, and furrowed brows - even the wart on the right side of her elongated chin. Every detail of the witch’s costume is reproduced, including her billowing black cape, bodice, full-length puffed sleeve dress, pointed hat with scarf, and belt pouch. For indoor or protected outdoor use. Requires two AA batteries.

I’d be careful about leaving this outside my home though, especially when it costs a whopping $2,500 to bring home in the first place.

With Halloween coming up upon us in a couple months’ time, it is never too early to prepare. Enter the 36″ Twitching Lighted Spider to help add that Halloween charm to your home as kids drop by, asking for treats and tricks.

This spiders eight illuminated legs span 36″ in diameter, four of which move slowly to create the simulacrum of careful, calculated movement as if stalking prey. The spiders thorax and abdomen conceal a stealthily quiet electric motor that drives a system of levers attached to the two front and two rear legs, creating a semblance of life as the legs twitch back and forth while the abdomen slowly rises and falls. Each leg is decorated with a string of incandescent purple lights rated for 1,000 hours of use; the spiders pedipalps have green lights. Made of a powder-coated steel frame, the body and legs are coated with 1/8″ long jet black flocking.

This AC-powered spider will retail for $69.95, and while it might not snack on pesky insects, it doesn’t leave around trail of cobwebs either.

If you happen to own a dog whose bark is worse than its bite, perhaps installing the Ultrasonic Barking Dog Deterrent in your garden would be a good idea.

Disguised as a birdhouse, this patented outdoor behavior modification device quickly and humanely restores peace and quiet for those vexed by a dogs nuisance barking. When a dog barks within range of the birdhouse, it emits a harmless ultrasonic tone, inaudible to humans, that startles the animal into silence. The dog quickly associates its bark with the unpleasant sound, which conditions him to curb this undesirable behavior. An on/off switch with three sensitivity levels (15 ft., 30 ft., 50 ft.) lets you control the units effective range, and a test mode enables you to verify the device is functioning properly. Its weather proof ABS cabinet can be hung from a tree limb, mounted to a fence post, or hung on a wall.

A single 9-volt battery is able to power this for approximately 2 months, while LEDs on it will let you know just how much juice is left inside. The Ultrasonic Barking Dog Deterrent can be yours for $69.95.

Never mind if you don’t have a computer or notebook at the moment and yet want to share tunes on your iPod with a friend. The iPod, not being a Zune and hence does not have wireless capability to transfer tunes to another iPod, has this tool to help it out.

It automatically recognizes when you plug in iPods (either Mac or PC formatting) on either end, and it can transfer a three-minute song in five seconds and a 30-minute video in three minutes. The device can also transfer any files when the iPods are set to “disk drive” mode. Its rechargeable battery provides up to 1 1/2 hours of operation during transfers, and includes an AC adapter that recharges the device in four hours; iPods are recharged while connected. Songs transferred with digital rights management (DRM) formatting require appropriate iTunes password and authorization.

Hammacher is carrying this for $99.95.

There is nothing quite like washing yourself down after a long, hard day at work. Of course, if you happen to be one of the top earners in your industry, hosing down in a normal shower just won’t do. Enter the Dry Water Jet Massager.

Used at five-star resort spas, this device provides a full-body water jet massage without getting you wet, and uses aromatherapy, relaxing audio, and video to soothe your tactile, olfactory, auditory, and optical senses. While your head rests comfortably on a headrest outside of the unit, 28 nozzles inside the canopy deliver precise, invigorating streams of water that replicate the principles of shiatsu, or “finger pressure” massage, as they strike the pliable polymer sheet that provides a waterproof barrier between you and the nozzles (allowing use while completely clothed). Controlled by 28 microprocessors, the pulsating water jets relieve sore muscles and joints from your shoulders to your ankles, faithfully recreating the deep-penetrati ng percussion techniques favored by professional massage therapists. You can adjust the water pressure, temperature (75° to 105° F), and pulse intervals (2 to 10 cycles per second), and program the device to concentrate on specific muscle groups with a touch of the LCD control panel. The sloping headrest has a massage-table style face opening that allows you to lie prone and watch the integrated 7″ LCD screen with DVD player in comfort. You can connect an iPod or CD player and listen to your music of choice via the included headphones from Bose. Incorporating the 6,000 year old practice of aromatherapy, the unit has an integrated aroma diffuser that releases subtle scents from essential oils that can enhance your mood and promote relaxation.

When I mentioned “top earner” earlier in the post, I really mean so. After all, how many of us are able to install a $29,500 at home without having to go through the missus’ approval?