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The Octopus Chair
“Release the Kraken!” Now that is definitely coming out from my mouth, should my bank balance and accountant agree to be enlightened by as much as £35,000 for The Octopus Chair. Yes sir, you read that right – this uniquely shaped piece of home furniture is perfect to set the proper tone at your next dinner party, as you hold a Pirates of the Caribbean theme, while you comfortably park your rear end on this giant octopus. Exquisitely detailed to the extent that you might even think it moved a wee bit (this tends to happen when you get a little tipsy from all the merry making that is going on), this opulent dining chair is ideal to project your already eccentric personality upon the rest of the party goers.
Spanish artist Maximo Riera is the brains (and hands) behind The Octopus Chair, and I do admit, it is definitely going to be extremely challenging to blend in this chair with the rest of the furniture that you have at home. Then again, if you can afford something this expensive, surely you are able to go ahead with an interior makeover to obtain an underwater look and feel. More than 30 professionals, overseen by Riera himself, were employed to make this chair that boasts of rich leather upholstery.
Quad Table Tennis Game
I am quite sure that having one wife is more than what a man can handle, but to be married to more than one will certainly induce plenty of headache unless you have bottomless pockets! Well, here is a sport that you might want to play with your wives if you happen to be married to three of them, but I feel that the target market of this $249.99 Quad Table Tennis Game would be a group of friends rather than a cuckolded husband. The name of the game itself gives the scenario away, where it introduces a new twist to a traditional sport, boasting four separate tables that pits up to four players against one another. This delivers unpredictable, exciting play indoors or outdoors, and you can hit the ball onto any opposing player’s table.
Make sure your reflexes are in tip top condition, as angled bounces and caroms are the order of the day. The tables are placed just a few feet apart facing one another, where each triangular-shaped, 24″ long x 18″ wide table will taper to a round point in the front; while the back edge is pitched 10º, ensuring the balls will bounce up towards a player. I wonder what happens when the Chinese master this game. I don’t think that this will ever make it as an Olympic event though – what about you?
Portion – Cooking Spoon w/ Measuring Grooves
Pottering about in the kitchen might be your favorite pasttime, and just in case you are lacking in a measuring spoon as you have always relied on your intuition, here is the $7.99 Portion – Cooking Spoon w/ Measuring Grooves. Not only does this spoon measure both wet and dry ingredients, it is also full well capable of multi-tasking ability, as you can use it to stir the contents of your dish after that! The handle measures up to 1/4 cup, while the spoon takes over the more sensitive measurements of half teaspoon, teaspoon, tablespoon and 2 tablespoons.
After all, getting the right mix of ingredients is the key to a perfect dish – too little or too much of something will just spoil the taste, while you lose some stars among the family where being in the kitchen is concerned. The locking silicone spout used for its handle seals in order to prevent spills, and opens wide for easier pouring. Since it is made out of food safe plastic and silicone, you need not be unduly worried of introducing unwanted and poisonous chemicals into your dishes and food.
Inkless Graphite Quill
I still remember those old pictures that were drawn using ink (because there was no such thing as a camera yet), featuring monks of yore writing tome after tome using ink-based quills. Well, we have seen updates to old technology such as a cassette-to-MP3 converter, so here is another future update that features a writing implement instead – the $17.99 Inkless Graphite Quill. This is a unique graphite sculpture that allows you to “pen” down your thoughts without smudging the page or your fingers, which is a vast improvement over the original.
It is said to be able to last up 9 years with daily use – and I suppose in this day and age where the only thing we pen down would be our John Hancocks on a credit card bill, owning one of these should virtually last far longer than 9 years – double that number, even. Coming in a handsome gift box, this might make for a decent gift for one who is just about to enter the world of school. Definitely a writing instrument that will be different from all the other pens and pencils that the rest of the students carry, don’t you think so?
Katapult Pen
Students who sit in the back half of the classroom have a higher tendency of playing pranks on others, as well as perform other acts which tend to incur the wrath of teachers, will definitely want to check out the $4.99 Katapult Pen. This is one pen that would make all of the other pens look pointless, not because it can write far better than the other pens, but simply because of the fun factor attached to it. It will be an impromptu catapult, and all you need is some rough paper to tear into pieces and fold it up into “bullets”.
Measuring 7″ in length while letting you write stuff out in blue ink. I do question the idea of it being made out of plastic though, since in your zeal of shooting the rest of your colleagues or classmates, you might actually exert far more strength than required and the plastic might end up brittle after a couple of years, breaking into pieces instead. What do you think – would metal be a more formidable idea?
Electronic Goldfish in a Bowl
Goldfish are extremely fragile creatures, and they have been bred in a way where efficiency is not a word you would use to describe them, but rather, most goldfish are clumsy and prone to diseases if not cared for properly. Cosmetic fish, as I would like to call them. Some have even said that while a goldfish bowl is nice to look at to us humans, it is not the best place to keep goldfish due to its size and lack of oxygen. Instead of burying your 15th goldfish in the backyard in a year, why not just pick up the $19.99 Electronic Goldfish in a Bowl instead?
You need not worry about forgetting their feeding times any more, and you can always head off for a long vacation without worrying about the health of the tank. Fresh batteries are inserted into the top, where you will then see the goldfish “swim” around, looking rather realistic from afar. Heck, to spruce things up a bit, there is also an always-on LED light show which will morph from one color to another, and you can always use that as your disco light, blasting away your favorite dance tunes on a Saturday night as you live the forever alone lifestyle.
Garlic Zoom XL
Just like Johnson’s baby shampoo that has the tagline of “No more tears!”, so too, should the $14.99 Garlic Zoom XL from ThinkGeek have something similar. Granted, this is no onion that will send a river of tears flowing down your cheeks, but I do wonder whether it works for onions as well. If you happen to be a huge fan of this medicinal vegetable, or are a vampire who has a strange fascination and appetite for the very thing that reputedly chokes the life out of you with its scent, the Garlic Zoom XL is just the kitchen tool for you. It not only makes mincing garlic a snap, but turns the entire process into one that is fun – the more you drive it, the smaller it minces, and you need not worry about your fingers smelling like garlic after that.
All you need to do is insert a couple of peeled cloves in the trapdoor on top, close it up, and then drive your Zoom around. The stainless steel blades within will get the job done for you in no time, and the entire blade unit can also be removed for cleaning to keep hygiene levels up to par at all times. Mom, or the dad who loves pottering around in the kitchen, would definitely appreciate something like this.
Stationary Epicycle
Shed those pounds that have strangely made an appearance around your waist after the recent festive season of feasting without having to leave the comfort of your home – and this also means rain or shine, you can still get your daily dose of exercise in, not to mention doing so while you watch your favorite sitcom on TV at the same time. The Stationary Epicycle will not come cheap though at $12,000 a pop, and it might actually be more worth your while trading that amount for say, 10 years of membership at a reputable gym? For those who have the cash to spare, the Stationary Epicycle is self-describing – it will not go anywhere when you hop on it and start working those muscles, but rather relies on an epicyclic transmission and magnetic resistance to provide intensive spinning workouts.
Inspired by 19th-century monowheels, the Stationary Epicycle boasts dual-satellite transmission that can turn a single pedal revolution into four flywheel rotations, which means someone spinning at 100 rpms causes the flywheel to spin at 400 rpms. As the flywheel engages the cycle’s 36″ diameter copper ring, half a dozen magnets which are installed around the ring’s enclosure will work in tandem to generate a magnetic field in order to deliver up to 12 levels of resistance that are controlled by a touchscreen display. Definitely a calorie burner, this – and also a wallet bustin’ purchase for most.
