Perfect Polly want a Cracker? Didn’t Think So…

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I love having a pet, as far as I’m concerned the positives far outweigh the negatives. Sure, having a pet requires some work and expense, then there’s boarding your pet when your on vacation, vet bills, walks in the rain… but all the love and loyalty is almost always worth it. But what about those of us with lifestyles (or apartments) that simply don’t allow a pet?

Welcome, Perfect Polly… the ultimate in pet perfection. Perfect Polly is a genuine simulated parakeet, made of high quality plastic, with breathtaking parakeet-like markings, Perfect Polly will react to your presence by moving her head, flicking her tail feathers and singing you a beautiful tune that only a genuine plastic parrot could. Lifelike enough to annoy even the most discriminating cat, and consuming nothing other than batteries, Perfect Polly never needs water, or her newspapers changed.

Able to stay home alone for months at a time, Perfect Polly will never disappoint your kids by dropping dead, or require them to learn any kind of responsibility for the care of a living thing, fun to take to parties or outdoors, where an authentic Parakeet might be inclined to run for the hills, Perfect Polly will stay right by your side, entertaining you and your friends for… well, as long as the batteries (or your friends) hold out.

Perfect Polly comes with a natural looking perch, or alternatively, you can keep her in a cage, or simply allow her to sit right on your finger. Be advised however, if you’re walking around with a tweeting plastic parrot on your finger I cannot be held responsible for damages to your reputation, or any implied perception of your sanity. If Perfect Polly is the pet for you, you can have one for under 15 bucks from amazon.com. I’m gonna hold out for the automated Perfect Husband … the next logical step don’t you think?

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