Portal 2 Sentry Turret USB Desk Defender

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There is nothing quite like a science fiction device being brought to life in the real world, and here we are with the $39.99 Portal 2 Sentry Turret USB Desk Defender that ought to wet your pants – in a good way, of course. This is basically a motion detecting turret that will help guard your desk against any pesky busybodies who love to loiter around your work area whenever you are not around.

Featuring sound effects from both Portal and Portal 2 titles, the Portal 2 Sentry Turret USB Desk Defender will be able to open up its wings as well as shoot bullets – naw, it will only do the former, but is as harmless as a cute little hamster as there are no bullets that it can discharge. Whenever it detects any motion nearby, it will say one of the following : “Target acquired”, “There you are”, “I see you”, “Preparing to dispense product”, or “Activated”.

Should the turret be moved or knocked over, it will say, “Critical error”, “Shutting down”, “I don’t hate you”, “Hey, hey, hey”, and “Malfunctioning”. If it is ignored after 30 seconds of inactivity, it will ask innocently, “Are you still there?” Sounds like the ideal device to own, no?

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