The Anti-stab Knife

by Mark R

knifeI have an idea for a remake of Psycho, in case Universal wants to do it again. In the infamous shower scene, Norman Bates, dressed as his mother, dramatically sneaks into the bathroom, where Marion Crane is bathing. He then quickly draws back the shower curtain and as he goes to stab her… “Oh man, this is the anti-stab knife! Wait right here, I’ll be right back.”

Yes, someone actually invented an anti-stab knife. I realize that concept sounds as ridiculous as an anti-killing gun, but the blunt upper protrusion prevents someone from a fatal wound. Apparently that pointy part on the front is capable of only getting caught on clothing, and it can only pierce flesh just a little.

The knife’s designer has admitted that no knife is stab proof, so you could kill someone with this if you tried hard enough. The purpose of the anti-stab knife is to prevent a fatality through a crime of passion. So if a couple is having a spat while one of them is chopping up veggies for dinner, rest assured that no one will be killed if tempers flare.

Apparently, stabbing crime is big in the UK. It’s like gun crime in the States, but ironically smaller. So if the proliferation of anti-stab knives could reduce stabbing fatalities, more power to it. Think of it as a trigger lock for a knife.

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7 reviews or comments

Andy S. Says: June 16, 2009 at 11:02 am

Except that nobody is ever going to buy one of these. Actually going out and purchasing one of these knives to have in your home is like telling your spouse/partner/roommate, “I’m sufficiently convinced that one of us is going to try to stab the other one to death someday.”

And while this could potentially save a life if ever purchased, the damage to the relationship would probably be irreparable. I imagine that it’s kinda hard to sleep in the same bed with someone who sincerely and deliberately tried to kill you.

democratsarefascists Says: June 16, 2009 at 11:43 am

And aother socialist country beclowns itself.

Neagle Says: June 16, 2009 at 7:36 pm

Prison kitchen’s could potential replace there current knives to reduce the threat to staff if the inmate gets enraged at their respective work station which they are usually chained along with the knife. From staff I know in the industry kitchen jobs are rather valued by the inmates and one slip up, no more job.

Raxx Says: June 16, 2009 at 10:38 pm

So where’s the anti-slash knife?

billdakelski Says: June 17, 2009 at 9:04 am

The way that knife is designed, all you would have to do is turn it over and it would stab through just about anything.

democratsarefascists Says: June 17, 2009 at 11:17 am

So how is Obama’s “Cover-All-Rocks_With-Four-Inches-of-Foam-Padding” stimulus project progressing?

I assume it’s right up there with Britain’s “Ban-Stick-Possession Initiative?

And the Brady Campaign’s “Assault Sentence Bill,” which would limit all sentences to five words and ban all sentences that they consider “scary looking?”

koneck Says: June 22, 2009 at 2:09 pm

A person is most powerful when s/he is angry so unless that blade in at least 1/4 inch I don’t see why it won’t pierce flesh.

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