Unifork, the satanic garden tool

by Darrell


Leave it to the British to create the world’s only garden tool inspired by Satan. Union Jack Stable & Garden’s Unifork combines the scooping action of a shovel with the penetration; I said penetration, of the fork. The Unifork is made from high-grade polypropylene under the guidance of some weird British standards.

The site boasts that it is so safe you can even poke your kids with it! I think that is the best selling point I’ve heard in years. I can picture myself now sitting on my front stoop in my all red one piece satanic bathing suit poking the neighborhood kids as they pass by…or better yet I can throw a few heads of lettuce along with some tomatoes and onions in my backyard and go to town on my new lawn salad with my brand spanking new Unifork.

Every man woman and child needs this essential garden tool. Uniforks come in 4 colors, Satanic Red, Easter Bunny Pink, Boring Green, and Triton Blue. The fork is strong durable and won’t rust or corrode. The Unifork weighs less than 3 lbs and is about 45 inches in length. Get with the times and get your fork today at Union Jack Stable & Garden for only $42.95. Mine is already on the way!

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