UE Technologies’ Television Remote-Control Watch Review
Now it’s time for contest entry #10 courtesy of Kyle, the UE Technologies’ Television Remote-Control Watch Review.
Back in days of yore, one must venture across thy humble living room – only to fetch the magic brick which commands your hillbilly miracle box. Universal Electronics provided the solution to this growing crisis, and engineered a television remote small enough to fit in your watch. While this concept isn’t entirely new, the idea hasn’t become entirely widespread in anything other than Chinese econo-electronics – cramming most of our discarded technologies into ugly calculator watches.
It works within 25 feet of the desired television/device, at an angle of about 20 degrees. The watch contains two separate device controls, where you can change the channel, adjust the volume, mute, and toggle power on the “TV” and “Cable Box” presets. Each setting stores the universal remote code for any given device you have the code for; these codes are stored in the given pamphlet, and range from brands like “Electrobrand” to “Futuretech.” Rest assured, the big name brands are all here. The watch is equipped with two batteries, one for the watch itself – and the other is dedicated to the remote controls. Ultimately, this device gives the user unlimited power in the classroom and workplace with televisions and the like – and even with defunct technology. Old Macintosh computers had which remote control receivers, would spring to life en masse, as I passed by an outdated locked-off computer lab.
The styling is modest, and its sex appeal is near zero – but don’t underestimate the power and charm of this little gizmo. While it may only be available in limited locations, only when purchased in large quantities, and likely not for sale – “Fox Sports.net” was smart enough to jump on this bandwagon, and distribute it through the ranks of Comcast – the provider of cheap 6-month utilities.
My own watch was used in one of the most infamous uses of tomfoolery known in the Comcast workplace – as it was used to manipulate the main lobby plasma TV. No one could deduce that it was me, and being the rascal that I am – continued these hyjinks. I would periodically change the channel to HBO or annoying children’s programming in addition to the obnoxiously loud volume. What would be better than having your boss greeted at the door with Joe Pesci screaming obscenities in an Italian accent, or Twinkie-Winkie telling the senior management how to do somersaults? With the watches’ 25ft range, I always escaped unscathed – though the laughing should have been a clear indication of my guilt.
One of the following weeks I entered the main lobby, carefully planning my next hijacking – only to see a crew of 5 technicians working in the television area. I walked up to them, and saw the $4,000 plasma television in pieces, strewn across the ground. The television was malfunctioning, no? They’ll never know…
Why was this done, you ask? It was nothing short of bringing down the Comcast regime, one plasma television at a time. All thanks to the Universal Electronics Remote-Control Watch; couldn’t have pulled it off without you.
With this watch, as with many other Cool Gadgets – with great power, comes great hilarity.