“Video-game styled controller gives children familiar video knobs to twiddle even though they’re outside, in direct sunlight.”
Ohh them childrens do likes the outsides, (duh).

“Metal detector is unable to detect the value of what is found, so if your kids find something really valuable, you can still buy it back for a quarter.”
Don’t forget to rip off your children! They’re your most valuable asset, always make them find you stuff while you’re surfing and or relaxing.

“This sensitive, accurate metal detector is loaded on a rugged ATV remote-controlled rover, connected by a five-foot cable, which will come in handy should you attempt metal detecting in a minefield
(NOT RECOMMENDED).”
So you’re saying, “Don’t let your kids go into minefields” Parent of the year awards winging their way to you Mr. Promotional slogan!

“Requires four AA batteries, not included.”
So it probably dies in about 2 hours (prove me wrong!) What about rechargeable batteries here!?

I’ve got to say this genuinely fun looking toy (that, aside from the snide comments I make looks actually fun) it has two small drawbacks.

1. It’ll likely run out of batteries quickly.

2. The cord makes it a little less “remote controlled” (as you follow it around in a creepy manner)

Nevertheless, it looks like a ton of fun for kids! Don’t take this off the list for the holidays, it’s affordable, looks relatively fun, and, who knows, maybe you’ll find that Rolex!!