I managed to get through university without getting past chapter 1 of “Cooking for Blokes” because I couldn’t be bothered to go and buy the extra kitchen utensils necessary to make anything from chapter 2 onwards.

A few years later, I found a dietician who spent a year learning to cook – and I married her. Recently though, it seems to me that all our money goes into the kitchen, one way or another, so I’ve decided I want some of the action!

I used my favourite search engine to turn up these two marvellous kitchen gadgets. The first is a mixing spoon with built-in sensors that can determine temperature, acidity, salinity, and even viscosity. It gets better though. The sensors are connected to a computer that can tell me if I need to add more salt to taste, or flour to thicken up the mix a little. Even I can’t go wrong.

I found the second gadget from the same site (we-make-money-not-art.com). It’s a camera system with image recognition software that looks at the ingredients you’ve placed on the table. Once it’s recognised them, the software uses artificial intelligence to guess what you’re trying to make, and then plays the appropriate cooking video to guide you through each step.

I can’t wait! After all these years I’ve found a couple of gadgets to help me attempt to make the first dish in chapter 2 of my cookery book: a cheese omelette.

The intelligent spoon.

Counter intelligence.